When I fist began this blog, one of my first posts was about a book I came across on being a male escort. Today I came across another that also made me think about the kinds of reading out there - The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men. Turns out it's part of a series of sorts on sexual practices. There is one for anal sex and women, fellatio, strap-ons, lesbian pregnancy, etc. Yes, they will publish anything.
In today's society where it ok to talk about sex, if not mandated, these kinds of books are expected. Sex and sexuality are taught as classes in college; students major in the study. The library I work in not only holds the aforementioned male escort tbook, but also The new topping book as well as many older books written on various sex subjects. t Television and movies no longer sensually hint at the act but show the characters in flagrante delecto (I have no problem saying that people are having sex, intercourse, coitus, etc. I just love that phrase!). Books and series like Sex & the City or Straight up & Dirty have told women, at least, that it's not just ok to be sexual, but to declare it to world! With details!
I know that I am not the only one who has looked at this openness and wondered, is it all it's cracked up to be? Have we lost all sense of modesty, or of romance? Are we too quick to rationalize our sexual desires, name them and put a psychological reasoning behind it all? Can you really have irrational, spontaneous passion if you'd been planning it all day like you read in Redbook? Sex as reproduction is what we all in the animal kingdom do. And for a few of us lucky(??) extra-intelligent species, there is enjoyment in it. I am sure that there is a lot for psychology to say about the reasons why we are a culture obsessed with sex, yadda yadda yadda, but I don't really care. We are. Besides, a lot of it is just due to past repressions, anyway. But now we are obsessed with talking about sex, and apparently, reading about it. I wonder, with all this expose, if sex can still be personal, intimate? Many would make us think that if we don't share openly our sex lives or don't openly experiment with different positions that we're prudes and stuck in the dark ages. Women are attacked for not being feminists and embracing their sensuality. But this isn't the place for one of my rants on sex and culture. This is about The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Men.
I have this thing with sex instruction books like the Ultimate Guides mentioned above. Yes, these books in particular normalize previously "underground" "unspoken" practices, and that's good in a way. But I can't help but feel like it also sterilizes them! It takes something that we do for pleasure and turns it in to school! I can't imagine desiring to study for my next date. For centuries people have been having sex of all kinds with all sorts of people and things - sometimes it was good, sometimes it wasn't. They learned and grew. Lesbians aren't new, and I highly doubt strap-ons are that novel, either. Must we all go in to our first experiences as experts? Where's the fun in that?! Sure, sex ala Bushnell's Samantha may be fun, but so is the journey there. First times are awkward, weird, fun, and memorable. Did I mention fun? The mystery of it is part of that.
So, it's great that you know a lot about anal sex and want to share it. And I understand that someone wants to learn about it. But why take the leap a little blindly? You can know how to be safe without getting a master's degree on the subject. Enjoy growing through experiences! And for pete's sake, don't take it all so damn seriously!!
10.09 EDIT - Just came across The Lesbian S/M Safety Manual edited by Pat Califia. The synop on the back begins, "This handy guide is an essential item for the leather dyke who wants to be well-informed about how to play safe and stay healthy." Ok, for safety (in BDSM, certain scenarios), I get having a book.
No comments:
Post a Comment